Mark Manson’s book “Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” has been out for some time now and I’m glad it came across my recommendation of books to read. If you’re okay with blunt, tell it like it is and bad language this book is for you.
Below are my top 3 messages articulated by Mark in his book.
“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience…
Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable.”
I couldn’t agree more, people live up to your failures and embrace them. Being in Sales has helped me become “comfortable” with losing, failing, being rejected… doesn’t it feel good? F*ck NO, it sucks and win I lose to a competitor I don’t give myself a high five and say “it’s okay”… I learn from it. I will debrief and understand why I lost, ask for feedback from my prospects.
Life isn’t sunshine and unicorns all the time and it’s good to have those sh*tty ebbs and flows. Avoiding issues or challenges only delays the lesson… it’s the only way we grow and have perspective and it helps to expand and focus the mindset to overcome and shift to a new level.
“Unhealthy love is based on two people trying to escape their problems…
Through their emotions for each other—in other words, they’re using each other as an escape. Healthy love is based on two people acknowledging and addressing their own problems with each other’s support.”
I’ve been there… I’ve had romantic relationships I would try to predict the outcome or control the behavior of the other person and it was a painful lesson I had to endure but I came out of it stronger and feeling worthy of what I deserve.
Giving a F*ck about your own personal growth while being a relationship is tricky and there’s no easy way to master it, only acknowledge and work at it.
The best relationships I have in my life are the ones I feel safe to share and they do to, and together we support one another to handle that Sh*t.
“There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerges…
This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances. We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we are always responsible for our experiences. It’s impossible not to be. Choosing to not consciously interpret events in our lives is still an interpretation of the events of our lives. Choosing”
This quote is by far my favorite, I’ve adopted the belief that everything I experience is a choice. I don’t HAVE to do anything in life (except die and pay taxes). I didn’t always have this belief and I would blame people, time, circumstances as to why things didn’t turn out the way I wanted. However as soon I as shifted and started to realize I was solely responsible for my choices, everything is a choice.
Pick the book up or download on Audible… it’s worth the read and it will show you how to not give so many F*cks!! 🙂