Hi… (you looking at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning)
Hi… (your worst critic showing up in the morning)
- You look horrible today!
- Why do you look so fat right now? (as you pinch your “back fat”)
- You have nothing to wear…and what you do have to wear, you look terrible in!
- And look at your face… it’s breaking out so bad, fuck why should you even step outside?
- You’re not working hard enough on your appearance!
- You’re not good enough!
Meet your worst critic (in your head), the voice that LOVES to talk negative, complain, bitch and make you feel like you are Not Enough, or Worth it. We all have this voice, and it totally likes to be heard and noticed. Sometimes this voice is even on auto pilot and you don’t even realize it’s emotionally damaging because you’re so used to it.
Be aware of the following thoughts and actions:
- “Resting bitch face” or rolling your eyes when you look at yourself in the mirror
- Looking at other people and THINKING they have it way better than you do
- Hiding your body with baggy clothes or hate looking at yourself naked
- Ignoring or downplaying COMPLIMENTS, by saying things like… “I just got lucky”… “Thanks, but_____”, “Oh really, you think so?”
- Seeking other people to make you feel good (external validation)
- Procrastinating on important things out of fear
- Being indecisive on choices Big or Small
- Telling yourself you can’t step in the direction of your dreams because you have NO Time, money, support…blah blah… blah
- Believing you are your past
- Using shame as a motivator to do more (you didn’t do it right the first time so you fucking better get right this time)
- Emotionally eating carbs, sweets, fast food, etc on the daily
Why DO we have this crazy talk in our heads?
It’s a part of life and we ALL have our own shit to deal with in some form or fashion. Even the people on Instagram that appear to have it all, the house, the romance, the best vacations, the riches… everyone goes through challenges and experiences of self doubt. “I’m the only one” mentally is a false statement, there’s plenty of people that have experienced something similar and it’s comforting to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE 🙂
Top action steps that will help put the self critic in check:
To how you are talking to yourself (make a list). Bring awareness to how often you are talking to yourself negatively in your head, and catch yourself. Just acknowledge, no need to dig deeper in the self sabotaging once you start to pick up on how often you do it. For example, if you catch yourself saying: “Gosh I look so bad right now because of this acne breakout,” once you realize you’ve had that thought, just sit with it, instead of allowing yourself to continue down the path of emotionally kicking yourself in the ass just tell yourself “interesting I just thought that”. If you didn’t get that promotion you were hoping for and you catch yourself saying “so and so was better than me” STOP right there, take notice and practice no judgement around that thought… just tell yourself “that’s interesting.”
Would I say this to someone I love or care about? Calling yourself stupid, ugly, horrible, asshole, ridiculous… would you say that to your sweet grandmother, husband or children you care about so much? Would you say that to your dog or cat? If the answer is NO, then treat yourself the way you treat people you care and love the most. With love and support! I could never see myself telling Potpot what a lazy piece of shit he is for not working out (LOL).
Be self compassionate
And empathic to yourself – you deserve it! No one is perfect, and we’re not meant to be totally put together with zero flaws or mistakes. Life IS about having moments of challenges or needing to create space to grow and learn. If you want to make changes, still be compassionate about it and love yourself in the present of where you are. For example, if you’re not happy with your weight or how your body looks and you’re having a hard time getting to the gym, instead of beating yourself up over it, start to acknowledging and empathizing your present weight with compassion and tell yourself you have 10 mins tomorrow to do some type of workout and get it done.
Make a commitment today to let yourself step down from the self critic committee and start to shift your inner voice to be louder with thoughts embracing your light, your uniqueness, and creativity.